Monday, June 20, 2011

I Couldn't Resist

Okay so I couldn't resist this challenge. The BDCWB Flash Fiction Challenge #1 [The Best Damn Creative Writing Blog]

They gave a picture -

And the limit of 500 words. I used 498 words with my little flash fiction story I flashed out quickly here -

I couldn’t help but sneak a look at his stiff back, listening to his bare feet slapping the pavement, when he walked away from me.

I couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around myself to contain the pain that had come when he had set his jaw and told me decisively he was leaving me. I had managed not to break down into hysterics. That was a moment to be proud of. Mostly.

But now that he wasn’t watching, he hadn’t even looked back once, the hurt moved as he did. I tightened my grip on myself, undone. My arm lifted as if it were going to wave goodbye, in case he did look back, not that it seemed he was going to now. I moved my trembling hand to my mouth to stifle the cry that threatened to erupt, shutting my eyes to try to contain the rush of tears and stop the glint of sunlight on them that would give me away. In case he does look back. The wet trickle down my cheeks told me I wasn’t successful. Pressing my lips tighter, I swiped at the damp and snuck a look at my fingertips, they weren’t bright red as I expected. I was sure I was starting to bleed from all the cuts inside me.

I could see his silhouette stretched across the black surface, at least it was leaning back toward me. But he was so far. So far from my arms.

Even over the hot smell of pavement and summer, I knew if I concentrated for even the smallest period of time I would smell him. I would almost taste the smell of him as he nuzzled close in my arms. These same ones that were shaking around me now.

This was all a mistake. Some misunderstood failing on my part. I knew in my bones that my arms would always ache like this. I would never be able to fill the emptiness no matter how tightly I wrapped them around myself.

I couldn’t let him leave like this.

No matter what damage it did to either of us, this couldn’t happen like this. Not now. And eventually we’d get beyond this, I just knew we would. We had to. We had to.

I swallowed my pride along with the lump of tears and started along his path. The perspective of my sight made him look so small, I quickened my step. I broke into a run as I choked back the sob of his name.

He had stopped and turned toward me when I finally reached him, grabbing him tightly against my chest.

“Don’t you ever do this to me again.” I unclamped my jaw to spit out the words in his ear. The same jaw that was echoed in his smaller version. I loosened my grip on my son enough to shake him, “this is not the way to do it. When the time comes we’ll figure it out.” Somehow.

I couldn't come up with a good title though. You got an inspired one you care to share?

Thanks to Denise for her blog heads up - go over and read her flash fiction version - here.

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